…and how they present challenges to restful sleep. While we’re at it, I’ll talk about an iOS App that I think should exist, but I have not yet found.

My wife and I both snore. In my case, it’s severe Sleep Apnea for which I wear a CPAP, but that doesn’t guarantee that I’m 100% snore-free. I can still make noises, from my head and elsewhere. My wife’s snoring varies considerably, from a rhythmic melodic hum, to chirps, to raspberries, to wheezes.

She’s used an ear-plug for years. Whichever ear is not against the pillow. Now she uses Bose Sleepbuds, but still, only one ear at a time. So when she rolls over from one side to the other, she has to remove one, insert the other. This is more conscious (i.e. wakeful) effort than I’m willing to abide.

I recently started using earplugs. This doesn’t solve the problem, it merely changes the problem. It’s that brain stem thing. Over many generations, the male side of our family has been conditioned that “as the man of the house,” it is our responsibility to remain alert to out-of-the-ordinary noises, so that should the Vikings come a-pillaging, we can spring into defense of our homes and villages… laughable as that may be in reality. So, earplugs that stifle the noise that keep me from falling asleep just irritate my brain stem because I won’t hear the smoke alarm, the phone ring, burglars breaking in, or police helicopter overhead tracking the bad guys through the back yards. Yes, I do watch too much TV, and no, it has not helped.

What I need is a combination of 2 things, both of which already exist on the App Store:

• Sleep/Meditation Sounds
  …of which I’ve found some really cool ones
• Baby Monitor / Remote Mic

Though it should be possible to do this with simply my current and immediately previous iPhones, I’ve cobbled together a solution that is almost there. Needs a little refinement. Start with sleep sounds, which mostly is for masking…

Because I’m a Ham Radio guy, and musician, I’ve got multiple computers and audio gear. There’s a six-channel mixer on my desk, in my office, which is directly downstairs from our bedroom. So, although I could do it with one computer, I happen to be doing all this with two. Anyway, a 2nd computer has a browser open to the Live365 station pictured above. Its output is one of the sliders on my mixer. It’s not turned up very much.

There’s also a boom mic plugged into that mixer. That’s pushed up to the nominal 0dB line, but not beyond that to “boosted” (which badly raises the noise floor). If my ears could hear a smoke alarm, or other time-to-wake-up sound, so can this microphone. It’s the same distance from the front door, for example. But it’s not in the same room as the snoring from either of us, which helps.

So that’s the “mix”. Now to get it to a pair of low-profile earbuds which block ambient noise very well, and are low-profile enough to comfortably be in the pillow-side ear.

I was in a KickStarter for one of Decibullz products, & I’ve bought several things from them. I’m impressed.

The “bridge” between the mixer on my desk and the earbuds in the bedroom upstairs is two products from the same company…

I’ve had this kludge running only one night so far, but I was impressed by how well it worked. For one quirky example, as I was winding down toward sleep, I heard a “click…click”. Took me a moment, but realized it was the TX relay for my APRS iGate transmitting on 144.39MHz. It’s a familiar sound. I hear it many times a day as I sit at my desk almost within arm’s reach of the thing. It was familiar. It helped convince my subconscious that if something happens that needs my attention, I will hear it. I can hear “household sounds”.

The ideal solution would be a single iOS app that

• Downloads the sound loops & stores/plays them locally, so I don’t need internet access to use it.
• Has a mixer to set relative volumes of masking/sleeping sound and awareness mic.
• Can use the local iPhone’s mic(s) to be used standalone.
• Can use a 2nd iPhone’s mic(s) in bluetooth or wifi range to hear from elsewhere.

I’m imagining the sleep-deprived young parent who needs to respond to a baby crying down the hall, but would like to not be kept up by their partner’s snoring in the same room.

Memorable line from Forrest Gump, as it happens.

The Right and the Left both think someone would have to be SO STUPID to think the way the other side thinks. OK, let’s set that thought aside for a moment. We’ll come back to this.

There’s this guy I was following and often interacting with on Twitter. Seems like a really nice dude, posted about woodworking, retweeted funny memes about the Former Criminal In Chief, etc. We were aligned in a lot of ways. If he lived within 3 houses of me, he’d probably be the one neighbor I’d actually spend some time chatting with. Maybe even help him with a woodworking project, or vice-versa. Possibly even go fishing together.

Then, yesterday, he posted an obvious-tongue-in-cheek admonition about people who choose to back into parking spots. Had to wait a moment for someone to back into a spot. Made a funny little dig. It’s fine. This is fine. But then the replies… oh my god, the replies.

ALL THE IDIOTS noticed that someone had popped the bung out of the bunghole, and came gushing out of the barrel to pile on. Not with anything clever or amusing – no – just to say how much they hate “backer-inners“.

None of these people also complain about waiting for someone to back OUT of a parking spot. No, of course not. They probably stop, wave the backer-outer out, possibly even flash their headlights to let the person know “I see you, come on out.”

Look, ya twits, it’s approximately the same amount of waiting whether the other person is backing IN, or backing OUT. Either way, you’ve sometimes had to wait. But because someone does it not in your preferred way, you’re pissed off, and making moral judgements?!

Well let me clue you in on a little something. IT IS DEMONSTRABLY SAFER to back into a parking spot than it is to back out. Here’s why: Your vehicle (and your head) isn’t designed for greatest visibility backing up. You’ve got blind spots anyway, but they’re much worse behind. So, when is it that you can see the MOST things around the vehicle, MORE about the situation, and BEST determine that it’s safe to proceed backing up?

a. While you’re out in the parking lot aisle, with no vehicles within a few feet of your side windows? or
b. While you’re in a parking spot, with enormous black-tinted-windowed SUVs on either side of you?

Basically, what you’ve come right out and admitted publicly is that you hate people because they’re smarter than you, wiser than you, more skilled/experienced than you, or some combination of those three. Now – take a step back – isn’t this exactly how we wound up with #IQ45 and a horribly RWNJ-stacked SCOTUS? Because all the stupidest people came pouring out the ol’ bunghole, all excited for their long-awaited chance to be part of a mob of people shouting gleefully about how fucking stupid they are? Finally, someone appreciates them for their ignorance – they could vote for someone who is stupid “just like me are”?

So yeah… I blocked a bunch of those folks who replied negatively about backer-inners. After a while, I also blocked the nice guy who posted the original tweet.

Yeah, I despise all and block most on the Right. I reluctantly tolerate and endure dumb people from anywhere on the socio-political spectrum. Half of the people are of below-average intelligence, after all, and it should be noted that “wise” and “smart” do not always correlate. But HOLY SHIT, I will not tolerate for a minute those who are stubbornly ignorant, proud of it, and hate anyone smarter than them. Whence come all the most wretched ills of the modern age.

Drove just over a mile away to the opposite side of the lake nearest my home, to shoot a sunrise timelapse, then a 10-photo burst to do a “super-resolution” conversion on. In both cases, I was shooting through a 1.33x anamorphic lens such that the resultant pic/vid can be more landscape-y than it initially was captured in the iPhone’s camera.

The video might not work out. We’ll see. But the timelapse function on the iPhone did exposure adjustments in abrupt jumps, which seems stupid to me. I’m hoping there’s a way to un-abrupt them in whatever app it is I’ll use to “de-squeeze” for the anamorphic lens.

The photo, however, was processed with The Gimp 2.1, with some python script add-ons. It’s rather huge. Could be printed quite large, I would think, if someone were so inclined.

There have been times when my vehicle has been the fastest one on a given stretch of road. e.g. Late for something urgent, someone in the vehicle badly needs the bathroom, just in an aggressive mood, etc.

There have been times when my vehicle has been the slowest one on a given stretch of road. e.g. There’s something somewhat fragile in the back, & it’s not netted down. I’m towing a trailer with tiny wheels. I’m someplace unfamiliar and trying to read street signs. Just in an enjoy-the-drive mood, etc.

I took Friday and Monday off… definitely a mental health break thing, so I was very intentionally arm-twisting myself into an enjoy-the-drive mood. Some tricks to this:

• Head out after rush hour.
• Don’t go the same direction most people go.
• Take County Highways (i.e. get off the Interstate as much as reasonable).
• Use the cruise control (i.e. math and technology) to maintain your speed… not your emotions and your right foot.

An old friend – a guy I worked with way back in the ’90s – wrote a great article about Scenic State Park, and within it mentioned the Lost 40 Scientific and Natural Area. Once I learned that this spot existed, and in light of the drought and forest fires we’ve had up north, I figured I’d acutely regret it if I didn’t go see these majestic, towering beauties before they burned down. It was wonderful. If you factor in the difference in climate between Northern MN and Mill Valley, CA, I think the Lost 40 is as impressive as Muir Woods.

So – you can imagine my general travel attitude when I chose to leave the hotel at 6am on Sunday, and furthermore decided to take a route that avoided the most popular Highways. I wasn’t in a hurry. For much of this drive, I only saw other vehicles traveling the same direction as I was about 3% of the time. Otherwise I could see nobody ahead of me, and nobody behind. It was reasonably safe to stop, turn around, get out and take a photo, like this one…

Ergo, it wasn’t a problem to set the cruise within 2mph of the posted speed limit, like it usually is. No, I’m serious… you can literally get shot at, run off the road, or involved in some other form of road rage incident if you have the audacity to drive slower than 9mph over the speed limit here in MN. But I digress – as this story isn’t about rush hour.

The driver I’m about to describe is just one particular guy, but he shares several characteristics with many other non-commute drivers I’ve seen in the past few years. I was somewhere between MN 65 and I-35. I got on I-35 at Hinckley, so I was crossing Eastward somewhere probably on or near the map shown at the top of this page. I had the cruise set at approximately 54mph in a big, lumbering Chevy Tahoe, when someone in a little 2-door car come up behind me going 5-10mph faster than I was.

Then he hangs 2 car lengths behind me. I can see him gesturing. Nothing vulgar, but he clearly thinks I must be stupid.

We’re in a long passing zone. There are no other vehicles in sight ahead or behind. So I tap the “-Decel” on the Cruise a few times to slow down even further. If this guy has any clue at all, he should interpret this as “Please be my guest – pass me – I’ll make it as easy as possible for you. But no, I am not interested in going faster because you’re tailgating.”

The gesturing intensifies. A couple times, I see him swerve slightly left, as if to get a better view of the opposing lane, and judge whether or not he can pass. The latter of these times, it was just at the beginning of a No Passing Zone.

I figured this guy must be about as dumb as can be, though I should point out that in this area there are still many big blue flags and signs for an election which was lost over 9 months ago by someone stupid enough to own a casino and go bankrupt. So yeah – a lot of stupid around here. But again, I digress.

To get this guy to finally pass me, I picked a farm driveway ahead on the right, turned on my right blinker, and started slowing as if I was headed there. He finally zoomed around me.

But really – what an absolute chicken shit – and one of many. Why am I so often finding that people will not pass on a 2-lane county highway? They’ll tailgate, yell, gesture, and turn red in the face, but they won’t simply pass. It’s like they don’t even know that’s an option. This was never a problem in the 1970s to 1990s. Hell, I would regularly see people towing a boat trailer and still passing on a 2-lane. Not anymore.

It seems that our society started to lose the knowledge of the safe and legal 2-lane pass around the same time we started losing the knowledge of how to take a left turn at a semaphore when it doesn’t have a turn arrow.

Over-Mod Boys – a sub-category of mic-eaters. Their voice peaks are badly clipped, and the magic of the CODEC preserves the full splendor of their horrid audio signal.

Nose-Puffers – as they exhale vigorously at the end of each transmission. Often also mic-eaters, these are surely morbidly obese dudes who are out of breath simply from the effort of holding in the PTT button, such that the last bit of air they have left after talking for 20 seconds is blasted directly into the mic just before they un-key and gasp desperately for their next gulp of air.

General Mic-Eaters – every “P” (or other plosive) blasts distortion. Every “S” (or other sibilant) scratches like dragging a Red Solo cup across 65-grit sandpaper. Heaven forbid these lids ever get on HF SSB – what a mess of harmonics they’d emit.

Good Buddies – folks who can’t let go of the CB lingo, e.g.

• “handle here is Dick” – just say “my name is Dick”
• “personal over here is Dick” – just say “my name is Dick”, and you can’t be anywhere but where you are, so the “over here” bit is just dumb
• “got your ears on?” – just sell your radio
• “10-4” – just drive over your radio with your lifted pickup truck.

Jargon Junkies – which affects all manner of voice ops (bands, sub-modes), but is especially amusinoying on Digital Fusion wherein, if the voice going into the mic is crystal clear, the voice decoded at the other end is crystal clear. These fellas like to say “Yeah, QSL, QSL” and such. Dude, just converse like a person. Like you’d talk to a neighbor or co-worker. I mean, you never say “ACK, ACK” just because you also use computer networking, do you?

There is absolutely a situation where QSL is the correct thing to ask or respond: on CW (i.e. Morse Code) when the signal is difficult to read, in order to confirm the message was understood – because there is good reason for doubt. It’s commonly also used during difficult SSB conversations, but I’d suggest that “Roger! Roger!” is more clearly understood via voice, particularly over static on sideband.

Log Fetishist – I hear two guys on ––––AMERICA–LINK who have both explained that their equipment is connected directly by WiRES-X, such that neither is making a radio transmission at all. Near the end of the conversation, one will make a big point to say “I’m going to log this QSO on QRZ.com, if you don’t mind confirming that.” Logging it in any way only makes sense to me if you also keep a log of phone calls. But really, who in their right mind would log a telephone call, and also expect the other person to somehow confirm?

Dude – just talk to people, possibly make friends. Relax. There was no radio operating skill, antenna building skill, nor long distance propagation luck involved. The point of logging and confirming is to prove something difficult or unlikely was – against significant odds – nevertheless achieved. If I dial your phone number from, oh I don’t know, any telephone anywhere, and you answer it and say “Hello?”, it is not impressive.

Radio Check Bait-&-Switchers – It goes about like this…

RCB&S: “KD1CK Radio Check?”

Me: (waits several seconds, ‘cuz I’m actually working, don’t have time to get pulled into a long QSO, & I’m hoping someone else will confirm Dick’s gear is actually working and can be heard, then) “Loud and clear, n0mql.”

RCB&S: “N0MQL, thanks, this is KD1CK. I’m in Podunk, Kentucky, running a (some radio) through a (some hotspot). It’s 65 degrees & breezy here right now. Where are you? What are you running?”

Me: (not transmitting again)

Here’s the thing – if you just want to have a chat with anybody anywhere, there’s an internationally accepted way to do that. It’s called “calling CQ”. It’s not that hard. So here’s what you do:

Dick: “CQ CQ KD1CK, Podunk, KY.”

(wait a bit… if nobody answers, repeat the above at least 3x before assuming your equipment might not be working, and if there’s still no answer…)

Dick: “KD1CK Radio Check?”

Me: “Loud and clear, n0mql.”

Dick: “Thank you. KD1CK, calling CQ, from Podunk, KY.” (notice: leaving me the heck out of it)

CQ-Phobia Sufferers – This one is not a peeve, but just an amusing observation. I literally heard the following in the “room” called ––––AMERICA–LINK yesterday:

Guy 1: “(callsign) monitoring on America Link.”

Guy 2: (seconds later) “(callsign) monitoring.”

Guy 3: (seconds later) “(callsign) listening.”

Guy 1: (seconds later) “(callsign) monitoring.”

Fortunately, before this could go ’round the horn a full second time, some 4th person chimed in and called for a specific other (5th) station, the other station responded, and they talked for a few minutes.

But the 1st 3 guys were the Amateur Radio equivalent of me at any High School dance where I wasn’t running sound and/or lighting (which I usually was). Stand on the periphery & suffer the internal battle of what might be worse – some girl coming up to talk to me… or not (it was always not). This is why I became a floor guard & DJ at the local roller rink. Loved music, loved skating, but didn’t have to skate with a partner (most of the time).