Memorable line from Forrest Gump, as it happens.

The Right and the Left both think someone would have to be SO STUPID to think the way the other side thinks. OK, let’s set that thought aside for a moment. We’ll come back to this.

There’s this guy I was following and often interacting with on Twitter. Seems like a really nice dude, posted about woodworking, retweeted funny memes about the Former Criminal In Chief, etc. We were aligned in a lot of ways. If he lived within 3 houses of me, he’d probably be the one neighbor I’d actually spend some time chatting with. Maybe even help him with a woodworking project, or vice-versa. Possibly even go fishing together.

Then, yesterday, he posted an obvious-tongue-in-cheek admonition about people who choose to back into parking spots. Had to wait a moment for someone to back into a spot. Made a funny little dig. It’s fine. This is fine. But then the replies… oh my god, the replies.

ALL THE IDIOTS noticed that someone had popped the bung out of the bunghole, and came gushing out of the barrel to pile on. Not with anything clever or amusing – no – just to say how much they hate “backer-inners“.

None of these people also complain about waiting for someone to back OUT of a parking spot. No, of course not. They probably stop, wave the backer-outer out, possibly even flash their headlights to let the person know “I see you, come on out.”

Look, ya twits, it’s approximately the same amount of waiting whether the other person is backing IN, or backing OUT. Either way, you’ve sometimes had to wait. But because someone does it not in your preferred way, you’re pissed off, and making moral judgements?!

Well let me clue you in on a little something. IT IS DEMONSTRABLY SAFER to back into a parking spot than it is to back out. Here’s why: Your vehicle (and your head) isn’t designed for greatest visibility backing up. You’ve got blind spots anyway, but they’re much worse behind. So, when is it that you can see the MOST things around the vehicle, MORE about the situation, and BEST determine that it’s safe to proceed backing up?

a. While you’re out in the parking lot aisle, with no vehicles within a few feet of your side windows? or
b. While you’re in a parking spot, with enormous black-tinted-windowed SUVs on either side of you?

Basically, what you’ve come right out and admitted publicly is that you hate people because they’re smarter than you, wiser than you, more skilled/experienced than you, or some combination of those three. Now – take a step back – isn’t this exactly how we wound up with #IQ45 and a horribly RWNJ-stacked SCOTUS? Because all the stupidest people came pouring out the ol’ bunghole, all excited for their long-awaited chance to be part of a mob of people shouting gleefully about how fucking stupid they are? Finally, someone appreciates them for their ignorance – they could vote for someone who is stupid “just like me are”?

So yeah… I blocked a bunch of those folks who replied negatively about backer-inners. After a while, I also blocked the nice guy who posted the original tweet.

Yeah, I despise all and block most on the Right. I reluctantly tolerate and endure dumb people from anywhere on the socio-political spectrum. Half of the people are of below-average intelligence, after all, and it should be noted that “wise” and “smart” do not always correlate. But HOLY SHIT, I will not tolerate for a minute those who are stubbornly ignorant, proud of it, and hate anyone smarter than them. Whence come all the most wretched ills of the modern age.

There have been times when my vehicle has been the fastest one on a given stretch of road. e.g. Late for something urgent, someone in the vehicle badly needs the bathroom, just in an aggressive mood, etc.

There have been times when my vehicle has been the slowest one on a given stretch of road. e.g. There’s something somewhat fragile in the back, & it’s not netted down. I’m towing a trailer with tiny wheels. I’m someplace unfamiliar and trying to read street signs. Just in an enjoy-the-drive mood, etc.

I took Friday and Monday off… definitely a mental health break thing, so I was very intentionally arm-twisting myself into an enjoy-the-drive mood. Some tricks to this:

• Head out after rush hour.
• Don’t go the same direction most people go.
• Take County Highways (i.e. get off the Interstate as much as reasonable).
• Use the cruise control (i.e. math and technology) to maintain your speed… not your emotions and your right foot.

An old friend – a guy I worked with way back in the ’90s – wrote a great article about Scenic State Park, and within it mentioned the Lost 40 Scientific and Natural Area. Once I learned that this spot existed, and in light of the drought and forest fires we’ve had up north, I figured I’d acutely regret it if I didn’t go see these majestic, towering beauties before they burned down. It was wonderful. If you factor in the difference in climate between Northern MN and Mill Valley, CA, I think the Lost 40 is as impressive as Muir Woods.

So – you can imagine my general travel attitude when I chose to leave the hotel at 6am on Sunday, and furthermore decided to take a route that avoided the most popular Highways. I wasn’t in a hurry. For much of this drive, I only saw other vehicles traveling the same direction as I was about 3% of the time. Otherwise I could see nobody ahead of me, and nobody behind. It was reasonably safe to stop, turn around, get out and take a photo, like this one…

Ergo, it wasn’t a problem to set the cruise within 2mph of the posted speed limit, like it usually is. No, I’m serious… you can literally get shot at, run off the road, or involved in some other form of road rage incident if you have the audacity to drive slower than 9mph over the speed limit here in MN. But I digress – as this story isn’t about rush hour.

The driver I’m about to describe is just one particular guy, but he shares several characteristics with many other non-commute drivers I’ve seen in the past few years. I was somewhere between MN 65 and I-35. I got on I-35 at Hinckley, so I was crossing Eastward somewhere probably on or near the map shown at the top of this page. I had the cruise set at approximately 54mph in a big, lumbering Chevy Tahoe, when someone in a little 2-door car come up behind me going 5-10mph faster than I was.

Then he hangs 2 car lengths behind me. I can see him gesturing. Nothing vulgar, but he clearly thinks I must be stupid.

We’re in a long passing zone. There are no other vehicles in sight ahead or behind. So I tap the “-Decel” on the Cruise a few times to slow down even further. If this guy has any clue at all, he should interpret this as “Please be my guest – pass me – I’ll make it as easy as possible for you. But no, I am not interested in going faster because you’re tailgating.”

The gesturing intensifies. A couple times, I see him swerve slightly left, as if to get a better view of the opposing lane, and judge whether or not he can pass. The latter of these times, it was just at the beginning of a No Passing Zone.

I figured this guy must be about as dumb as can be, though I should point out that in this area there are still many big blue flags and signs for an election which was lost over 9 months ago by someone stupid enough to own a casino and go bankrupt. So yeah – a lot of stupid around here. But again, I digress.

To get this guy to finally pass me, I picked a farm driveway ahead on the right, turned on my right blinker, and started slowing as if I was headed there. He finally zoomed around me.

But really – what an absolute chicken shit – and one of many. Why am I so often finding that people will not pass on a 2-lane county highway? They’ll tailgate, yell, gesture, and turn red in the face, but they won’t simply pass. It’s like they don’t even know that’s an option. This was never a problem in the 1970s to 1990s. Hell, I would regularly see people towing a boat trailer and still passing on a 2-lane. Not anymore.

It seems that our society started to lose the knowledge of the safe and legal 2-lane pass around the same time we started losing the knowledge of how to take a left turn at a semaphore when it doesn’t have a turn arrow.