WiRES-X YSF AMERICA-LINK Peeves
Over-Mod Boys β a sub-category of mic-eaters. Their voice peaks are badly clipped, and the magic of the CODEC preserves the full splendor of their horrid audio signal.
Nose-Puffers β as they exhale vigorously at the end of each transmission. Often also mic-eaters, these are surely morbidly obese dudes who are out of breath simply from the effort of holding in the PTT button, such that the last bit of air they have left after talking for 20 seconds is blasted directly into the mic just before they un-key and gasp desperately for their next gulp of air.
General Mic-Eaters β every βPβ (or other plosive) blasts distortion. Every βSβ (or other sibilant) scratches like dragging a Red Solo cup across 65-grit sandpaper. Heaven forbid these lids ever get on HF SSB β what a mess of harmonics theyβd emit.
Good Buddies β folks who canβt let go of the CB lingo, e.g.
- βhandle here is Dickβ β just say βmy name is Dickβ
- βpersonal over here is Dickβ β just say βmy name is Dickβ, and you canβt be anywhere but where you are, so the βover hereβ bit is just dumb
- βgot your ears on?β β just sell your radio
- β10-4β β just drive over your radio with your lifted pickup truck.
Jargon Junkies β which affects all manner of voice ops (bands, sub-modes), but is especially amusinoying on Digital Fusion wherein, if the voice going into the mic is crystal clear, the voice decoded at the other end is crystal clear. These fellas like to say βYeah, QSL, QSLβ and such. Dude, just converse like a person. Like youβd talk to a neighbor or co-worker. I mean, you never say βACK, ACKβ just because you also use computer networking, do you?
There is absolutely a situation where QSL is the correct thing to ask or respond: on CW (i.e. Morse Code) when the signal is difficult to read, in order to confirm the message was understood β because there is good reason for doubt. Itβs commonly also used during difficult SSB conversations, but Iβd suggest that βRoger! Roger!β is more clearly understood via voice, particularly over static on sideband.
Log Fetishist β I hear two guys on ββββAMERICAβLINK who have both explained that their equipment is connected directly by WiRES-X, such that neither is making a radio transmission at all. Near the end of the conversation, one will make a big point to say βIβm going to log this QSO on QRZ.com, if you donβt mind confirming that.β Logging it in any way only makes sense to me if you also keep a log of phone calls. But really, who in their right mind would log a telephone call, and also expect the other person to somehow confirm?
Dude β just talk to people, possibly make friends. Relax. There was no radio operating skill, antenna building skill, nor long distance propagation luck involved. The point of logging and confirming is to prove something difficult or unlikely was β against significant odds β nevertheless achieved. If I dial your phone number from, oh I donβt know, any telephone anywhere, and you answer it and say βHello?β, it is not impressive.
Radio Check Bait-&-Switchers β It goes about like thisβ¦
RCB&S: βKD1CK Radio Check?β
Me: (waits several seconds, βcuz Iβm actually working, donβt have time to get pulled into a long QSO, & Iβm hoping someone else will confirm Dickβs gear is actually working and can be heard, then) βLoud and clear, n0mql.β
RCB&S: βN0MQL, thanks, this is KD1CK. Iβm in Podunk, Kentucky, running a (some radio) through a (some hotspot). Itβs 65 degrees & breezy here right now. Where are you? What are you running?β
Me: (not transmitting again)
Hereβs the thing β if you just want to have a chat with anybody anywhere, thereβs an internationally accepted way to do that. Itβs called βcalling CQβ. Itβs not that hard. So hereβs what you do:
Dick: βCQ CQ KD1CK, Podunk, KY.β
(wait a bitβ¦ if nobody answers, repeat the above at least 3x before assuming your equipment might not be working, and if thereβs still no answerβ¦)
Dick: βKD1CK Radio Check?β
Me: βLoud and clear, n0mql.β
Dick: βThank you. KD1CK, calling CQ, from Podunk, KY.β (notice: leaving me the heck out of it)
CQ-Phobia Sufferers β This one is not a peeve, but just an amusing observation. I literally heard the following in the βroomβ called ββββAMERICAβLINK yesterday:
Guy 1: β(callsign) monitoring on America Link.β
Guy 2: (seconds later) β(callsign) monitoring.β
Guy 3: (seconds later) β(callsign) listening.β
Guy 1: (seconds later) β(callsign) monitoring.β
Fortunately, before this could go βround the horn a full second time, some 4th person chimed in and called for a specific other (5th) station, the other station responded, and they talked for a few minutes.
But the 1st 3 guys were the Amateur Radio equivalent of me at any High School dance where I wasnβt running sound and/or lighting (which I usually was). Stand on the periphery & suffer the internal battle of what might be worse β some girl coming up to talk to meβ¦ or not (it was always not). This is why I became a floor guard & DJ at the local roller rink. Loved music, loved skating, but didnβt have to skate with a partner (most of the time).